Twi vs Vamp ks: most epic adventure ever!
by Lilith Rose
Summary: what happens when Raven reads Twilight and Bella reads Vampire Kisses? EXACTLY WHAT THE TITLE SAYS! with some extra randomness thrown in
1. Chapter 1

Twi VS Vamp Ks; the most epic adventure EVER!!!!

**Disclaimer!!! I do not own Vampire Kisses or Twilight!!!!**

authors note; i like the twilight books, but some of the stuff in there just kinda... makes me angry? yeah that's the correct sequence of words! Anyway!!! this is just something i made up when i got bored, and there will be some twilight and vampire kisses bashing, BUT ALL IN GOOD FUN!!!!

PS. This is Pre: Breaking Dawn and Eclipse!!! (sooo in between New Moon and Eclipse)

(Vampire Kisses POV)

Raven sighed to herself as she walked into the library with Becky, she had to do a book report for her english class. Usually she would skip doing such a horrible thing but after her parents had discovered her last report card they told her to get her grades up, or no Alexander.

"Hey Raven! I hear this book is pretty good." Becky called over to her friend as she looked through multiple books in the fiction section.

"Not interested." Raven called back as she looked through _Bram Strokers Dracula_ for the thousandth time.

"It's about vampires though..." Raven stood straight up and ran straight over to where Becky was standing. She took the book in her hand and looked at it confused. On the cover was a pair of hands, which looked really feminine, holding an apple. It was by some author named Stephanie Meyer and the title was _Twilight_.

"What does an apple have to do with vampires?" Raven asked out loud before heading to the book check out.

"You're gonna check that one out?" Becky asked while holding another copy of the book.

"Yep. I wonder if it'll be any good."

"A lot of girls love that book!" Exclaimed the librarian cheerfully. Raven looked on curiously as she checked out the book. After Becky had finished checking her book out they left the school.

"I can't wait to start Twilight, tell me how you like it Raven!" Becky told her as they drove up to Raven's house. Raven jumped out of her truck and waved as she drove away. The book seemed pretty interesting by what was on the back of it. She walked into her house, ran up the stairs and locked herself away in her bedroom.

"I'll just read until sunset." She told herself before cracking the book open. She read the preface and was almost immediately interested in the idea that it brought on.

"Oh maybe it's about a vampire girl or something!" She started reading the first chapter, and found herself a little disappointed. Isabella Swan was not a vampire. She was just an ordinary girl. She continued reading and got to about chapter five before being filled with tons of questions. She looked out her window to discover the sun had already set.

"Crap! I'm late!" She exclaimed before jumping up, leaving _Twilight_ to the page it was open to. She ran out the front door and towards Alexander's home on Benson Hill. The gate was locked. She climbed over it then ran to the front door. She knocked three times and Jameson opened.

"Ah hello Miss Raven. Alexander has already headed out for tonight." He explained with a small frown of a smile.

"Did he go to the cemetery?"

"Yes. If you hurry you might be able to catch him." He told her before closing the door. Raven ran all the way back down the driveway, jumped the fence and hurried off to the graveyard. She scaled that fence then hurried through the graveyard to look for her vampire mate.

"Raven, what are you doing here?" She looked up after her thought process had been broken. There of course stood the vampire she had been looking for.

"Looking for you." She answered quickly.

"You were late so I went for a walk. I hope you don't mind." He sent her a small smile and she ran to him to give him a hug.

"Sorry I was reading."

"Anything interesting?" He asked while pulling back slightly.

"Sorta, it was a little weird for a vampire book though." She explained as they began back in the direction she had been coming from.

"What is the name of the book?"

"Twilight. It's nothing like I thought it was going to be like though." They stopped walking as they approached the gate of the cemetery, Alexander climbed up first then offered her a hand up.

"Hmm, well I hope it turns out the way you want it to then."

(Twilight POV)

Bella Swan walked into the bookstore of Port Angeles, she needed to find a new book to read because her copy of Wuthering Heights was becoming overly abused from her constant reading. She looked through some of the book shelves, picking up random books that she had heard were good until she came upon a series she had never heard of. _Vampire Kisses _ by _Ellen Schreiber_. The name alone caught her attention. She picked up the edition of the book that combined the first three then headed to the check out. The clerk rung everything up then handed her the bag. She walked out of the store just as Alice pulled back up.

"I swear Alice, sometimes I think you're psychic." She joked as she got into Edward's volvo that Alice had comandeered for their shopping adventure.

"I wonder why you would say that." Joked the pixie before driving off, just as fast as her 'brother' would.

Bella laied in her bed while reading one of the new books she had gotten. After some careful debating she decided she would readin _Vampire Kisses_ first. And so far, she was a bit confused. Though the main character was very interesting, she didn't quite get what was so fun about sneaking into abandoned buildings and how covered mirrors could possibly mean vampire. Then again, she did know the truth about vampires. She was dating a real one. She closed up the book and placed it inside her nightstand as Charlie climbed up the stairs to go to sleep. After his door was closed, her window opened. Edward climbed through, soaking wet.

"It's raining." He joked before running a hand through his soaking wet hair.

"Really?" She joked back making him laugh lightly.

"So how was your night?" He asked while sitting on the floor next to her bed, not wanting to get her bed sheets soaked.

"Pretty good, spent most of it reading."

"Anything good?" He asked while looking up at her with a crooked grin.

"You have to promise not to laugh." She warned while sitting back up. He sent her a look as if to say; I wont.

"Vampire Kisses." Before he could even stop himself Edward let out a short laugh.

"You promised!"

"I'm sorry Bella, I just couldn't help myself." He told her while straightening himself out.

(Vampire Kisses)

Raven was sitting on Alexander's bed in his main room as he slept in his coffin. It was Saturday and she would've prefered to sleep in his coffin with him, but he had insisted she finish her book report book. She had already found out about Edward being a vampire and now she was reading the part where they are in the meadow. She read on and practically threw the book across the room as she screamed out in horror. Jameson came running up the stairs to the attic and opened the door to find a shaking Raven.

"Miss Raven... is everything alright?" He asked while stepping in.

"NO! Everything is NOT alright!" She exclaimed while pointing at the book. Jameson casually walked over and picked up the book. He folded the page for her then closed it. The closet door opened and a very tired, and slightly annoyed looking, Alexander stepped out. He squinted to see slightly, even though the curtains were drawn.

"Raven's what's wrong?"

"Sparkles!!! Like GLITTER!" She exclaimed while throwing her hands over her head to emphasize 'glitter'. Alexander and Jameson looked at her confused for a moment before Jameson turned to read, muttering something about; Teenagers and their strange books.

"Raven, calm down a bit, and explain please." Alexander said while sitting down next to her on the bed.

"I was reading, he's a vampire drink's animal blood cus he doesn't want to be a monster... and and... he... HE SPARKLES!" She took a deep breath.

"Randomly?"

"No... in the sun." She looked up at him to gauge his reaction, and suddenly he burst into laughter.

"This author is hysterical! What else was different?" He asked while leaning back.

"He doesn't have fangs, he can read minds without touching people. And he's bipolar!" Alexander slowly shook his head before standing up.

"I'm going to go back to sleep. Try to finish that..." He pointed to the book before heaiding back towards his small closet space, only to close it behind him. With a shaky sigh Raven picked the book back up.

(Twilight POV)

"Oh so he is a vampire!" Exclaimed Bella as she sat on the front step of her house, she had been reading almost all day and she had just finished the first book of _Vampire Kisses_.

"Who's a vampire?" Asked Alice as she sat down next to her.

"Alexander Sterling. Except he had fangs and doesn't have a reflection." Bella explained while showing Alice the book. She quickly read it over before nodding.

"Seems kinda lame. Hope you enjoy the rest of your book." She told her before walking away. Bella nodded then continued.

A few days later Bella had already finished the rest of the books that she had, and had little desire to finish the series. The author had it so... wrong. But now Edward and her were going on a small vacation to a town called Maybell, and were just now stopping to get something for her to eat.

(Vampire Kisses POV)

Raven had almost thrown the book in the garbage when she was done with it. She couldn't believe how wrong the author had been about vampires. She had read the second book and couldn't believe how hopeless Bella had become without Edward around. Yes when Alexander had gone away for his short periods she had become a little anxious to see him... well not a little anxious seeing to that she had followed him but... Bella's entire life seemed to stop until she met Jacob again. A part of her had wanted the werewolf to wind up with Bella in the end. Alexander had found her reading the series all too funny, because she would constantly through the books or yell at one of the characters, or entire book in general. Either way, she had no desire to read the next books if they ever did come out. Now she was walking into town at dusk to go and get something for her parents. She would just have to be late to her date with Alexander.

(Twilight and Vampire Kisses POV)

Raven walked past a parked volvo and wanted to vomit. It was even silver. Anything reminding her of Twilight was absolutely annoying. As she walked into the store she bumped into someone. Or something. It had been like bumping into a wall. She fell back flat on her ass. She glared up at whoever it had been. He was at least six feet tall, seriously pale, and had reddish brown hair.

"Oh I'm sorry." He exclaimed in a sing song like voice. He offered her a hand up and she carefully took it. His hand was as cold as death.

"Are you alright?" Asked The girl to his left. Raven looked her over confused. She was a little taller then her, dressed like any standard Dullsvillian with long brown hair and a heart shaped face.

"Uh... yeah." She pulled her hand away from the guy, feeling seriously cold at the moment.

"You have really bad circulation if your hands are that cold." She said without thinking and the guy stared at her with wide eyes. She noticed suddenly that his eyes were gold.

"Uh... my father tells me that all the time actually." He laughed awkwardly and Raven's eyes traveled to the girls hand which held his. She was wearing gloves.

'Smart girl. Now I gotta hurry up and head home, can't be late seeing Alexander tonight!' She thought before trying to move past them.

"Um excuse me, but what's your name?" He asked abrubtly. Raven turned ready to send him her worst glare, when she caught a glimpse of her gothic mate over his shoulder.

"Alexander!" She exclaimed happily before pushing past the guy and his girlfriend to give her a hug.

"Your parents told me they sent you out so I came to help you." He told her as he hugged her back. He looked up at the man who Raven had just brushed off and he couldn't help but contrict her to him.

"Bella, maybe should go somewhere else..." He said to his girlfriend as he stared at Alexander.

"Oh alright..." She answered and Raven looked up.

"Bella? UH! I can't escape that stupid book!" Raven exclaimed while breaking away from her hug with Alexander.

"What book?" Asked Bell confused. She had never heard of a character with her name.

"That stupid Twilight book! Seriously, who ever heard of, uh it's too horrible to even say!"

"I know what you mean. I recently read a book like that too. It was about vampires." Bella explained with a smile.

"So was mine... if you could even call them that! I've seen almost every vampire movie ever made and..." She began when Alexander cut her off.

"Raven, maybe we should hurry up, you're parents are waiting." But as he said it his gaze was concentrated on the other guy.

"Alright, alright. I guess I'll talk to you later Bella." Raven said while trying to pass her boyfriend.

"No, we'll probably be leaving town soon." Said her boyfriend quickly.

"Are you sure Edward, this is where you wanted to go wasn't it?" Asked Bella, and Raven stopped with wide eyes. Her hand still in Alexander's she turned around.

"Wow... that is creepy! Alexander they have the same names as the couple in that book that I wanted to destroy." Raven explained with a smile towards him.

"Funny, we should really go though."

"Alexander, what's gotten into you?" She asked while looking up at him confused.

"Cus we are that couple in that book you read." Edward told her making her stop. Bella and Raven's eyes met in utter confusion.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or Vampire Kisses!!!!**

* * *

Raven's heart beat sped up and her grip on Alexander's hand and then darted out of the store. Once she was safely against the side of the wall she stopped.

'How... how could that even be possible!' She asked herself as she leaned against the wall. She looked up worriedly at Alexander. Edward was technically, a vampire. He could walk around during the day with his girlfriend, and he didn't have to worry about sunlight unless they were in a crowded place.

"This... is strange." He said after one painstakingly silent moment.

"You could say that again." Called another voice. Alexander turned and scowled at Edward before taking a step so that he was standing infront of Raven.

"I'm not going to hurt her. I'm a vegetarian, just like you." Edward said while crossing his arms with a scowl. Bella walked out of the store and stood next to Edward, only to be pushed slightly behind him.

"Edward, I know you read the book so calm down." Bella told him while placing a hand on his shoulder.

"What is going on here!" Raven exclaimed while taking a step forward so she was next to Alexander.

"Why don't you ask your 'vampire' boyfriend." Edward said while rolling his eyes. Raven gasped and took a step forward and pointed a finger in his face making him back up slightly.

"How dare you act as if Alexander is lesser then you! You can barely even be called a vampire! What kinda a vampire sparkles in the fricken sun!!!!"

"A real one." He shot back coldly. Raven clenched her fist.

"Bull shit! I bet if you went to The Coffin Club they wouldn't even..." She began when Alexander placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Maybe you should just calm down. He's obviously a different type of vampire, though I didn't know they existed..." He offered calmly.

"No, he can't possibly be a vampire."

"And why not?" Asked Bella with a tinge of anger.

"He doesn't have fangs, he doesn't sleep in a coffin and he's not allergic to garlic!" Raven shot back before crossing her arms.

"Actually Bella, I didn't read the books. But she's making him sound more and more like idiotic teens who believe every little vampire book they've ever read." Edward said with a glare towards Alexander. Raven went to leap foreward when Alexander grabbed her around the waist.

"Must cause bodily harm!"

"Raven he's just trying to get a rise out of me. He can read minds remember." He offered warmly.

"Well I don't believe that you're a vampire. Obviously you're dellusional." Edward said while crossing his arms. Alexander scowled at him then smirked widely. Flashing his elongated fangs, which no one got a chance to see, because someone flashed their brights at Alexander, forcing him to disappear with a growl.

"Hey monster girl! Wait, wasn't monster boy just here?" Called Trevor as he turned off his head lights and got out of his car.

"No you were just mistaken." She shot back angrily.

"Who are these two. They don't look like you're usual crowd." Trevor exclaimed while walking towards them. He stood next to Raven and looked Edward and Bella up and down.

"Deffinately not your usual crowd." He said while placing an arm over her shoulders.

"Get off you freak!" She yelled while kicking him hard in the shin.

"She obviously isn't interested, so maybe you should get off of her." Bella offered while trying to take a step forward, only to be stopped by Edward.

"How is that any of your business?" Trevor asked with a scowl. Edward took a step forward and forceably took Trevor's arm off of Raven.  
"Whoah... how did he do that?"

"He's obviously stronger then you." Alexander said while stepping out of the shadows. Trevor went wide eyed for a second then glared at him.

"So that vamp rears his ugly face." Trevor spat earning a laugh from Alexander.

"I honestly do not understand your fixation of Alexander being a vampire. I swear the way you constantly talk about him Trevor makes me believe you're in love with him." She shot at him making Trevor turn a bright red.

"I...I can prove he's a vampire!" He exclaimed.

"We're waiting." Raven shot while shaking her head. Trevor pulled a small knife from his pocket and brought it to his thumb. He made a quick cut, and no one moved. That is... until Bella fainted, Edward caught her in his arms then glared up at Trevor.

"Way to go douche bag! She's afraid of blood!" Edward yelled at him before gently handing Bella to Raven, who held tried to balance Bella in her arms. Edward walked up to Trevor, pulled his sleeve over his hand then grabbed hard onto Trevor's thumb.

"Stupid idiot! Cutting yourself to prove some kids a vampire, how absolutely ridiculous. Vampire DO NOT exist! How stupid can you be to believe in mythological creatures who survive off of blood alone! You are by far the stupidest person I have ever met!" He yelled before pulling away. The pressure he had forced on Trevor's thumb had caused the bleeding to stop.

"Besides you're the one with the Dracula action figure in his bedroom." Raven said with an evil smirk. Trevor blushed bright red.

"I'll... I'll prove he's a vampire even if it kills me!" He exclaimed before heading back towards his car. Edward growled and tore off the part of his sleeve the blood had soaked into the tossed it in the garbage can.

"That promise kinda scares me." Alexander said while backing away from the garbage can slightly.

"Oh he's just some idiot who wants to know why Raven would choose you over him. If I were you I'd not only kick his ass but mess with him in his sleep." Edward said while pulling Bella away from Raven to collect her in his arms.

"So... you are most assuredly a different type of vampire. I'm sure Carlisle would be very interested in meeting you." Edward carefully pulled his cell phone from his pocket and opened it up to contacts.

"Do you have a cell phone I can reach you at?"

"No." Raven answered with a scowl, and Alexander grinned sheepishly.

"Fine, Raven please contact me if he gets a cell phone." Edward said after texting her so she had his number.

"How did you know my... stupid mind reader." She said while crossing her arms.

"Don't hesitate to communicate with us." Edward said while walking Bella back towards the volvo.


End file.
